To The Woman Who Cyber-Bullied Me Today

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I haven’t had the easiest life as an adult, but I would consider myself luckier than some out there that may have it much worse than I do at the moment. Despite struggles with weight gain, finances, getting back into the groove of my writing again, and taking care of my dad who has advanced dementia, I try to remain positive and remember that I am getting married in the fall and am making my big move to Europe this summer.

With all of these changes, things have been super stressful, to say the least. I have been in the process of selling my library of Barnes and Noble leather bound books that I have carefully and lovingly purchased over the years since 2008. I had a lifelong dream, since I was a little girl to acquire a huge library of classic books like Beast gave to Belle in Beauty and the Beast.

I have been selling a handful of these books on eBay. I also sold quite a few at my town’s yard sale last month. Slowly, but surely, I have been chipping away at my huge allotment of books. It is heartbreaking letting these books go, but there is no way I can afford to ship these books overseas and I just do not have any suitable storage. Besides, I would rather see these awesome books go to a loving home with someone who enjoys classic books as much I do!

So, today I got a scathing e-mail from a potential buyer on eBay. Instead of being polite, she immediately started off in a threatening and rude tone. Now, I have not been doing eBay for too long and I have had only positive interactions with my clients up until today. The woman complained that the shipping was too high and was essentially accusing me of trying to extort money from buyers. I choose to ship my books via USPS Priority mail and yes that is very expensive. If you are in the East Coast it costs one price, Mid-west another price, and the West Coast yet another price depending on the potential buyer’s location in relation to the seller’s location. My town’s postal service does not allow for any cheaper shipping. I carefully weigh my product and type in the weight and eBay gives the estimate for the shipping based on USPS’s policy. I do not create that policy myself. That is the postal service’s policy. As for the pricing of my books, I tend to cross reference the prices with Amazon and Barnes and Noble and my prices are always lower than what I have seen these books go for. I am incredibly reasonable with my pricing. The only real cost that may deter some buyers is the shipping. That really is out of my hands.

On a positive note, I take exceptional care of my books so you are basically getting a brand new leather bound book at a ridiculously cheap price. I package my books well, I write each client a handwritten note personally thanking them for their purchase, and I always give my clients a free gift, which is usually one of the mini leather bounds that I have. I consider myself an honest and fair seller. I am also a reasonable person. If the person had spoken to me with a modicum of respect, I would have gladly worked out a deal. But she was threatening me, and quite frankly, frightening me with her menacing tone. After calling eBay, I found a way to handle the problem. But even after the issue was seemingly resolved, the woman still had the gall to message me one more time continuing on her rant that I was unethical in my pricing. I DO NOT COME UP WITH THE SHIPPING PRICES MYSELF! By this point, I had stopped corresponding to the woman because I wasn’t going to let her get the satisfaction of me stooping to her level. I ignored her and just hoped she would stop harassing me. She eventually did, but it definitely had me rattled. My first instinct is to just say forget it, I quit. This just isn’t worth it anymore.

But after speaking with my fiance, he helped put things into perspective. He told me of how you don’t know what that person is going through and it probably had nothing to do with the price of the shipping, maybe she has a rough life and maybe there are things that she is facing and decided to fight with a stranger online because she felt that was a way for her to regain control in her life. Was it right what she did? Absolutely not! Is it right to terrorize people online when you don’t get your way? Nope! So instead of me just throwing in towel and quitting what is actually starting to become a fun side hobby, I decided to stick with it after my conversation with my fiance. And because I decided to stick with it, I actually got another offer on one of my leather bounds!

In summation, people aren’t always going to be as kind and caring as I feel that I am in life, but that does not mean that I should just quit and walk away from something I enjoy doing because someone decided to be hurtful and cruel unnecessarily. Have you ever been bullied online or in person? Are you in customer service? I would love to hear your thoughts regarding this topic. Please feel free to comment below and tell me what your experiences are. I would love to hear from you. Only kind and positive posts will be posted, others will be deleted and ignored. Thanks for reading!

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A Rash of Suicides: The Rashness of Suicide

Blog Pic June 8 2018

The following is my response regarding the recent suicides of famous celebrities. This is an opinion piece and should be taken as such. All written and art work is the intellectual property of PSG Lopes, AKA The Moonlit Goddess. All Rights Reserved, 2018.

 

This morning I woke up to the news of yet another celebrity found dead from an apparent suicide. I find every death shocking and upsetting, but I was profoundly shaken by this particular death for several reasons. Not being very familiar with this particular celebrity, I still was aware of him and knew of his abilities and he appeared prestigious, wildly intelligent, conscientious, and kind and considerate of others. This man, who appeared to have it all, was also suffering from something that many others are facing.

Over the past few years, I have been noticing more and more celebrities committing suicide. Some of my favorite musicians, too, which were haunting and shocking to the core. I am not one to waste words like “thoughts and prayers” or a personal go-to phrase, “if you need help reach out to a hotline.” If it were only that simple. For individuals who are fortunate enough to not have to deal with some sort of mental illness, it is damned near impossible to get people to understand or relate. Sympathy and empathy are hard to come by and I find that for myself, a long-time sufferer of depression and anxiety, I have learned to just keep my mouth shut and pretend that everything is okay. It is just easier for me to act and play the part of normal to not freak out or frighten others than to reveal the hidden monsters lurking deep within the darkest pockets of my soul.

Relationships narrowed and drifted away as I got older as the monsters forced its way further burrowing inside my soul so no other person could possibly get inside. Anger, bitterness, resentment, self-hatred, all replaced what was once good and pure deep within me. Smiles are forced, laughter faked. Like an automaton, nodding my head and saying, “yes, I’m fine,” become my go-to automatic reply for others.

It’s because of this that it is so shocking when others find people committing suicide. It’s that scrambling to understand why, what went wrong, and other commonly thought questions. “But, they were rich,” “But, he/she seemed so happy,” “If I were rich or famous I would never kill myself,” “I don’t understand what went wrong?” Those are all common responses that I see whenever someone commits suicide. The sadness of it all is you will never know the real reason why people do what they do. Money does not equate happiness and fulfillment. There are many real life villains that lurk around threatening to hurt others and that alone is enough to understand a person’s choices to take one’s life.

This past weekend, I just finished watching Season 2 of Netflix’s “13 Reasons Why.” I found one of the final scenes between Hannah Baker’s mother and Hannah’s friend, Clay to be particularly poignant and resonated deep within me. The scene where Mrs. Baker showed Clay a list that Hannah had written prior to her committing suicide stating reasons why she should not kill herself and reading them off to him. Even though the list was shorter than the 13 reasons she ultimately chose to justify taking her life, Mrs. Baker pointed out that maybe she just hadn’t gotten around to finishing the list and wanted to point out to Clay that no matter how bad life had gotten, no matter how much life seems unbearable or unfixable that there’s always going to be more reasons why you shouldn’t kill yourself than why you should. “You do realize that? You do see that don’t you?” It was one of the best scenes I’d ever seen on television because this is something I struggle with daily. And there’s no amount of therapy, no amount of drugs pumped into your system, no amount of help hotlines that will get a person who’s spent years struggling with their inner monsters to come to that conclusion. They have to come to that conclusion on their own. They have to fight and fight and fight and fight and fight each and every day to keep convincing yourself the pros of being alive is significantly greater than the cons of being dead. Death is permanent. And although life has an expiration date, it is up to us to allow ourselves to endure the ups and downs of life as they come and let death come to us naturally when it is meant to come. To endure horrible and endless suffering on a Monday only to witness the most breathtaking sunrises of a Tuesday morning are what I myself struggle with on a daily basis.

No one will ever get closure especially close friends and family. There’s no debating whether it was sheer cowardice or courage. The decision is that person’s and theirs alone. Help each other in ways that is without condescension or being patronizing. A kind word, a helping hand, a phone call or text hello, inviting someone for a drink or a movie, volunteering your time to help someone who asks for assistance. These are all ways to get involved actively without sending someone off to a cold hotline. Why call a hotline to talk to strangers when they have friends and family that they trusted to have their backs and be there for them? Instead of asking why did they do that? Don’t wait for that moment of regret. Don’t wait for that moment to ask why and to ask for answers that will never come. Try to be present for the people in your lives because you just never know what is going on in their minds unless you ask them. You can’t ask a dead person why and expect to be given closure. You need to be there for people in the present and cherish them and respect them and love them.

Because where there’s love, there’s always hope.

Updates, Current Projects, Status of My Move, and Other Exciting News!

 

I know it has been a very long time since I have posted. Things have been quite hectic with my big move to Ireland in mid-July, trying to plan my wedding with my fiance, and getting everything in order. I have been trying to sell my leatherbound book collection on ebay and through a local yard sale. I still have tons of books for sale and I am selling them 10 books at a time on ebay. I am trying to part with them before I move in the summer. I cannot take them with me to Ireland. So, if anyone is interested in buying any books from my personal library collection, please check out my ebay page. All of my books are in pristine condition. I will ship them out as soon as I receive payment. All who purchase my books will receive a handwritten thank you card by yours truly, one of my business cards, and a flyer advertising future work. Thanks to all who have already supported me in buying books from me. I truly appreciate the support and love that I have experienced throughout this crazily exciting time. If you are interested, please check out my ebay page here: PSG Lopes’ AKA The Moonlit Goddess’ EBAY PAGE LEATHERBOUND BOOK COLLECTION

My fiance is hard at work in Ireland setting up his well-deserved business. In the meantime, I am sorting out my future projects that I will dive into full-time after my wedding this summer. I plan on finishing John of Art, my second children’s book: Hip, Hip Hooray! It’s Little Stan’s First Birthday!, my autobiography and photobook both part of my Tragic Distortions series. The children’s book I am planning on debuting at this year’s Children’s Book Festival in Ireland this year in the fall. The other three projects I am hoping to have published by the end of 2018. In 2019, when the dust settles a bit and my future hubby and I develop our routine, I will try to dive into more projects like Shadows on Elm and my collaborative project with my fiance and much more. I have so much that I want to do, it’s just a matter of having some peace and quiet and the time to commit to the work.

Thanks again for visiting my page. I appreciate your continued support and patience as I embark on this next new remarkable chapter in my life. I will try to be more proactive in my updates. Things have been especially busy, but I will do my best to provide more frequent updates.

The Portuguese American Girl Uprooting to Ireland in Search of Her ‘American Dream’

All Written and Art Work is the Intellectual Property of PSG Lopes. All Rights Reserved. 2018.

I am an American citizen, of Portuguese descent, who is preparing to uproot my life by moving to Ireland in search of my own version of the “American Dream,” that I never got in my country. I was taught at a very young age that if I went to school and got good grades, then I would land my dream job, marry rich, and get the house with the white picket fence, the 2.5 children, and the exuberant little yapping dog, Sparky–all of which never happened for me.

I graduated with my bachelor’s degree at twenty-one years old. I had no idea what adult life was going to be like and it bit me in the ass… hard! I wasn’t one of those obnoxious kids with the perfect pencil cases with their freshly sharpened pencils lined up in a nice neat row with the sleeked back ponytail without a single hair out of place. I was the personification of the Peanuts character PigPen, minus the walking cloud of filth chasing me around as I sashayed through my youth. I was bold. I was reckless. My shoes were always untied. I was the quintessential ’90s spazz you thought only existed on television. I had no idea what real life was, and I was in for a rude awakening post-graduation. Of course, what didn’t help was my choice of major and any lack of real adult advising me against such a wasteful and costly decision. The reverberations of that choice would be felt throughout my entire adult life. I am thirty-seven years old now.

I never really held a real job other than substitute teaching. I have never really had real health care. The last job I had, although temporary, had falsely promised me growth potential. Once I realized that they had used me for productivity purposes, I walked out and decided to spend a year developing my writing career. I began this harrowing journey first as an erotica short story writer, but I hated the way I was treated. People just didn’t understand that my writing these stories did not equate to me being a sex addict in real life. So, I phased out of the erotica and wrote mainstream fiction, poetry, songs, and children’s books. This became a much better fit for me. I am taking a grassroots approach to the marketing of my writing. I am doing all of my work without a publishing company or agent, so it has been a long, but very rewarding road. Throughout this year of discovery, I met the love of my life, who taught me that I didn’t have to have my life together to deserve love. He taught me that everything I was ever fed about being an adult was a lie. I didn’t need tons of money, or a traditional 9 to 5 to deserve that ‘American Dream’ life I had always dreamt of having and felt was out of reach for people like me. Ironically, I am finally getting my ‘American Dream,’ but in Ireland. I am going to have my home, my husband, my writing career, and our dog Cara and cat Sheldon with a smattering of chickens and cows thrown in for good measure!

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Little Stan’s Lucky Day Being Read Aloud Tonight During Ireland’s Children Book Festival. Plus, Other Writing News!


I am excited and proud to announce that today my children’s book, Little Stan’s Lucky Day, is being read during Ireland’s Children’s Book Festival. Special thanks to Robert Peacock for reading this aloud for me and for setting the whole thing up! You are everything to me!! ♡♡♡♡

I will be sure to post pictures of the event once I receive them.

In other news, working on finishing up my second novella, John of Art, and prepping to begin the NaNoWriMo month writing Shadows on Elm. I decided that the two books will be released close to one another close to the end of the year. I want to make sure they are both properly edited and want my last two published works of 2017 to be the best quality I can provide.

Thinking ahead, I already have some projects lined up for 2018. I am working on a photobook, which I will discuss more in early 2018. I have my second children’s book in the works as well. Also, I am interested in releasing Dark Musings Poetry Anthology: Volume 3. I am also working on a few more songs that I would like produced. I am trying to figure out an easier way of distributing that and getting more people to listen. All in good time!

Anyway, for now, please check out my children’s book: Little Stan’s Lucky Day! On sale now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats! Thank you all for your continued interest and support!

PSG Lopes, The Moonlit Goddess Amazon Author Page

Happy 1 Year Anniversary The Moonlit Goddess! What’s Next on the Writing Agenda!

 

Happy 1 year anniversary to The Moonlit Goddess Writing Line! When I decided to quit teaching after 15 years, I was so nervous and scared and lost. I’d done it all. I worked on my bachelors, my masters and my phd in business administration. I traveled the east coast and west coast throughout my schooling. I had met so many inspiring people. Although I had grown and expanded everything around me in my home town seemed to stay the same. My world grew bigger and a lot of people had a difficult time understanding me. If you learned what I learned, saw with these eyes what I have seen. If you heard stories from people all over our great country. If you listened thoughtfully to their struggles and how they persevered in the end. It inspired me to move on from somewhere I could not grow and built something from the ground up. Now my writing line is thriving and I met a wonderful person along my journey. I am scrounging and saving every penny to help build a better existence for myself and I will continue to produce meaningful work along the way. Thanks for being here and sharing in this wonderful, wild, and exhilarating journey with me. The 3 P’s that keep me going: Patience, Persistence, and Perseverance! 

Now, what’s next on my writing agenda! I signed myself up for the NaNoWriMo Challenge for the month of November. I’ve decided to be a little ambitious and a little crazy. I am not sure that I can do, but I am going to try. For the month of October, I’m going to try to write John of Art. For November, I’m going to try to write Shadows on Elm. I will update everyone on my progress. So far, I have written two chapters of John of Art, so I am on the right path! Wish me luck!

In the meantime, I just published my first children’s book: The Moonlit Goddess Presents: The Will O’ The Wisp Tales: Little Stan’s Lucky Day! This is available through Amazon Kindle and paperback formats on Amazon on the links below! Please remember to leave me feedback! Thanks so much!

Little Stan’s Lucky Day $2.99 Amazon Kindle Edition

Little Stan’s Lucky Day $15.00 Amazon Paperback

My children’s book was chosen to be featured and read aloud during Ireland’s Children’s Book Festival throughout the month of October! I am very proud of this distinguished honor. Special thanks to my literary agent and my love bug, Robert Peacock for making this happen!

Also, Little Stan’s Lucky Day has been entered in the Pen to Publish 2017 Contest through Amazon that would award me a publishing contract and a mentor-ship with prestigious members of the writing profession. So wish me luck! Thanks for everything. Thanks to my family and friends for your nurturing and support of my passionate venture! I can’t wait to update you all on news of future events!

 

Little Stan’s Lucky Day Available in Amazon Kindle Format for $2.99. Paperback Sales Start Monday for $15 on Amazon!!

Little Stan’s Lucky Day now on sale in Amazon Kindle format for $2.99. Paperback version will start sales on Monday for $15 also available through Amazon.

My book was chosen to be read aloud for the Ireland Children’s Book Festival for the month of October. Thanks to my literary agent and so much more, my sunshine and light, Robert Peacock for helping me make this happen!

My book was also entered into the Pen to Publish 2017 contest through Amazon and would provide me an opportunity to be published through a legit publishing company.

I am so beyond thrilled to have this published. I hope you all enjoy it. The subject matter is near and dear to me. Thanks for your interest and support. Love you all! Xoxo.

Little Stan’s Lucky Day Now On Sale in Amazon Kindle Format!

My first children’s book: The Moonlit Goddess Presents: The Will O’ The Wisp Tales: Little Stan’s Lucky Day is now on sale in Amazon Kindle Format only at the moment. I am still working on finalizing the paperback format. It is always the greatest struggle for me during publication time. The writing and putting the book together is the easiest part. It is the publishing that kills me. It is definitely a frustrating process. I will get there eventually. In the meantime, the book is available digitally through Amazon Kindle. It costs $2.99. Thank you so much for your patience. In the meantime, my children’s book is going to be read in the month of October at the Ireland Children’s Book Festival. My literary agent, Robert Peacock has been working tirelessly trying to promote my work overseas! (Thanks so much hun for all that you do for me!!)

The Kindle version is available here for $2.99 Little Stan’s Lucky Day

The children’s book is also entered into a contest that would provide me with an opportunity to get published by a traditional publishing company and to mentored by revered individuals who have years of experience in the literary field. Every day I am humbled and grateful to continue to have dreams of mine come into fruition. I never grow tire of the excitement and joy of being able to produce meaningful and quality work to my fans. Thanks for making it all possible!

Once the paperback version is published, I am going to start working right away on John of Art and after that Shadows on Elm. I signed up for the NaNoWriMo Challenge for this November. I  am hoping to have at least one of my novellas completed by then! 50k words in 30 days. Let’s see if that is going to happen! Will be a dream come true to have the next novella released so soon!

New Book Cover Revealed for Children’s Book Series. Release Date October 2017!

I’ve decided to release my first children’s book close to my next novella. Here is the book cover for my children’s book “The Moonlit Goddess Presents: The Will O The Wisp Tales: Little Stan’s Lucky Day.” 

Writing my novella releases one creative outlet while the children’s book releases another creative outlet for me. They are both challenging in their own ways, but I am enjoying the journey of both.

Robert is helping me with my marketing in Ireland for me. He is serving as my European literary agent, which I am so grateful for! (Thanks, love bug!)

Anyhow, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!

To My Little Friend Magenta

Taking care of animals is always equal levels of pleasure and sadness. You have the joy of first getting your pet. You spend years of happiness and enjoy an immense amount of jubilant memories together. Then that day comes when they need your help and it’s time your beloved pet crosses the rainbow bridge.

The emotions are there for taking care of animals outside as well. You root for them in different ways. They don’t have the same advantages and good life your pets share, but you can still provide a level of comfort for them that they can still maintain a certain quality of life that is a great life according to them because that’s the only life they have ever known. 

Over the years, my family and I have raised dozens of cats both indoors as pets and outdoors as part of feral families. It is one of the most rewarding, yet heart wrenching things one can ever do. Today was no different. Among the chaos of the day, we were informed that there was a kitten in our backyard that was not moving much and looked to be in pain. Upon further investigation, my mother had assessed that the kitten appeared to have a broken leg. We called our local vet and took the kitten in immediately. The cries from this small creature pierced through our souls and we knew the poor animal was suffering. X-rays were taken to confirm what we already knew. The little guy was doomed. He has crossed over to the rainbow bridge way too soon. He was a beautiful animal. So young, but three weeks old. Never got to know the joys of being an innocent, playful kitten. Its life, though short, was filled with pain and suffering. It is a comfort knowing he is out of pain.

I am notorious in my family for giving eccentric names to our pets. I cannot help it. I look at the animals and I just know their names already. I looked at his little face and I named him Magenta. At first, it appeared to be an ode to Blue’s Clues or the wickedly evil character from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Then I realized what the significance of the name meant to me. There’s a certain feeling we feel that sits in the pit of our stomachs. We don’t really know what to call it. Blanche Devereaux from Golden Girls stated it perfectly.

She said, “Magenta. That’s what I call it when I get that way – all kinds of feelings tumbling all over themselves. Well, you know you are not quite blue, because you’re not really sad. And although you are a little bit jealous, you wouldn’t say you are green with envy. Every now and then you realize you are kinda scared, but you’d hardly call yourself yellow. I hate that feeling. I just hate it. And I hate the color magenta. That’s why I named it that.”

So here’s to you, our little Magenta. To an indescribable sadness for a life cut much too short. May you rest in peace.

Magenta