ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.
People often confuse hardships and moments of vulnerability for weakness and naivete. Some people have a knack for spotting the defenseless people and honing in on them and targeting them as their prey.
When I went through my hardships at the beginning of the year, I became more hyper-vigilant of those who genuinely cared and wanted to help me and those who thrived on my hardships. I’ve developed a saying for myself, “I like my friendships and relationships like I like my crayons–non-toxic.” That’s my motto for 2019. I am staying away from those who do not serve me in a productive and healthy way. There are so many people out there who are hurting and going through their own hardships. That’s the time to help nurture them and raise them up not expend negative emotions to tear them down. You don’t use that knowledge of an individual’s pain as ammunition to hurt or harm them in any way.
When I started my writing line and began publishing my own books, I started really paying attention to the people around me. People started changing the way that they spoke to me. You could clearly tell that some people were actually jealous of me. People started unfollowing me on social media. People started avoiding me when they saw me on the streets and those who I thought were my friends had all forsaken me. The writing journey has certainly not been an easy ride for me, that’s for sure. I consider myself wildly ambitious and if someone who I invite into my creative circle does not exhibit the same drive as I do, they become a liability.
It’s not easy to say no to people or to move on in a different creative direction. People are sensitive. People get hurt. But you have to be mature, and adult and people have to recognize that you have a vision and you work really hard for that vision and you want those around you to share in that enthusiasm without being cruel, hurtful, spiteful, or by saying disparaging words meant to psych you out and discourage you from continuing. I work really hard on all my work. I especially work hard on being original. I also pride myself on being a damn good human being and I respect everyone in my life and I respect their schedules, their struggles, their pain. I recognize that and I am supportive and I would never slight someone for their individual struggles in life. I aim to make every person who leaves my side at the end of the day to feel good about themselves. I’d never make any human being feel less than who they were simply because of what was going on in my own personal life.
Humans are remarkable. We will exhibit moments of sheer pleasure and moments of sheer anguish and we bounce back and we recuperate and we move on and we come full circle and experience sheer pleasure and sheer anguish on and off over and over for the duration of our lives. Despite my hardships this year, I choose to focus on all of the good I’ve done this year. I published my third poetry anthology, my second children’s book, I worked with a lovely woman to get my audiobook done for A Wynter’s Tale, I was featured in two newspaper articles, and in August my second song and my second novella will be released. I also have some other opportunities that I’m waiting to hear about that I’m really excited about and may help get me to the next level of my career. So with every negative experience whether it’s a soured relationship, soured friendship, illness of a loved one, or whatever I may be experiencing, I choose to remember that I’m going through the anguish part of my circle and I will eventually turn around and find the pleasure of my life circle once again. Just be patient. It will come. I just need to ride out the negative wave and I’ll get to where I need to be. And patient I am.
I had a long talk with my mother the other day and she and I agreed that medication for my depression was not a suitable option. She told me that she noticed that my confidence was gone and she saw how I interacted with others and realized that that stemmed from my weight. She agreed that if I lost some weight that would help me regain my confidence which would then ease the depression and anxiety that I am feeling. She bought me three self-help books to help me navigate the next few months of my life. I found one book that will help me creatively, I found one book that will help navigate through my traumas in life, and I found one book that is a diet and exercise regimen for those with depression and anxiety. So that is my summer reading and my self-help project this summer. I am working hard on being the best possible version of myself away from the toxic atmosphere around me. I have learned to stay away from those with nothing nice to say about others because they don’t have the tools to properly navigate the hardships that they’re experiencing. I will not begrudge others for the hate in their hearts because that’s just not who I am. I wish them well and I choose to worry about working on myself and being my best authentic self. I don’t put myself into situations where I’d harm someone else. I don’t get into toxic relationships where I know the other person does not want me. I don’t fight for friendships that do not serve me in a productive and positive manner. I have nothing but pure-hearted love in my soul and wish only the very best of others and I will always root for them no matter how cruel or how rude, or how mean their words are. I know that with every cruelty, with every sharp lash of their painful words, those people are hurting too and my only wish for them is for them to find their inner peace. I am finding it in my writing and my music and my art and my photography. There are the doers in this world and the dreamers. In 2019, I have finally solidified my future as one of the doers. I am making my dreams come true. Sorry to those who don’t understand or who are jealous or who don’t have the courage yet to follow their dreams. My best advice is if you want something bad enough don’t focus on what I’m doing, worry about making you the best you that you can be. Don’t worry about my accomplishments, worry about how can you improve and make your dreams become a reality. I’ve learned my lesson in life. I know that I’m a good person who opens up to everyone I meet but I also am wary about those who use the words I’ve given them and allowing them to use those words as weapons against me.
My book is on track for August 15th release. My song will be done by then as well. I work really hard on my writing and my music and I work incredibly hard to produce something original, unique, and the words of my writing and the melodies of my songs are unlike anything else out there. Everyone on my team is positive, encouraging, nurturing and loving. These are people who have exhibited real pain in life but still know how to be a friend and work together for a common cause. Those who adhere to deadlines, respect other’s time and work, and will work together to put together some really great and memorable stuff. There’s no room for toxicity. We are all in this together. I love you all. And genuinely wish you all well. I will forever and always cheer you on.
John of Art is the sequel to A Wynter’s Tale. For those of you who want to read the first book before John of Art’s release in August please check out A Wynter’s Tale on paperback, ebook (Kindle), or audiobook in the following links below. Thank you as always for your continued love and support. It always means the world to me.
A Wynter’s Tale Ebook (Kindle edition): https://amzn.to/2xrnHZa
A Wynter’s Tale Paperback: https://amzn.to/2Jh33Ay
A Wynter’s Tale Audiobook: tinyurl.com/y234qddk
Here are some promo codes for the audiobook for my UK/US readers/audiobook listeners:
Promo Codes can be redeemed at the following websites: