Limited Release of My Latest Novella, John of Art, Available Now on Amazon!

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.

John of Art, the second novella in the Seasons of Change novellas, is now available on Amazon in paperback or Kindle e-book format. Click on the first picture below of the book cover to get your copy now! $12 paperback/$10 Kindle e-Book

Click this picture below for your copy of John of Art!

ABSOLUTE FINAL BACK BOOK COVER

Back Cover

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is the blurb for John of Art:

John of Art, a sequel to A Wynter’s Tale, is the newest novella in The Moonlit Goddess’ Seasons of Change series.
Wynn and Lin are settling into their newly married life in Wister Bay, Maine. When Wynn gets some devastating news about his new fledgling business, he and Lin find themselves in a familiar predicament that brought them together years back. As Wynn tries to re-navigate his life once again, Lin’s business as a psychologist is thriving. Her new client, Simone Soares, comes to Lin seeking coping strategies for her depression and anxiety. The majority of Simone’s troubles stem from her caring for her ailing father, João “John” Soares, who is suffering from advanced dementia. What Simone got instead was a whirlwind of chaos she had not expected. A chance meeting with a mysterious, out of town stranger helps Simone handle her grief, financial hardships, and the origins of her birth. With the help of those around her, Simone learns compassion, empathy, inner strength, and above all else, forgiveness.

For the first time, my new work is now featured in e-book format in other outlets like B&N, iBooks, and anywhere e-Books are sold. Just look me up under any search as PSG Lopes (The Moonlit Goddess Presents: A Seasons of Change Novella: John of Art)  wherever you purchase your e-Books. Paperbacks through new outlets will also be available soon and I’ll make those links available to you all as the author copy of the paperback is approved in the upcoming weeks. I am using a different distributor aside from Amazon this time around in order to make my work more readily available to a broader audience. It’s a lot of fine-tuning and making sure everything is perfect before I release the paperback version through B&N, and other outlets. Lastly, the audiobook will be produced soon and will be coming out in late summer. I will update you all and provide the link for that as well when the time comes. The book has a song which accompanies it and you can listen to that here:

www.themoonlitgoddess.bandcamp.com

Thank you all for continuing to visit my website and supporting my work!

I’ve already got my eye on my next two projects and I’m in the developing stages of both! I’m always thinking ahead!

The Majestic Wonderland that Became A Wynter’s Tale

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.

I wanted to continue the theme these past two weeks about my previous works. Since I just finished the first draft of my second novella, John of Art, yesterday I decided to utilize today’s blogging time writing about my first novella, A Wynter’s Tale.

These novellas are under the Seasons of Change theme of The Moonlit Goddess Writing Line. The goal for my novellas is to present modern day parables. The Seasons of Change novellas can be of any genre: romance, speculative fiction, mystery, horror/thriller, etc. as long as there is a central theme depicting a parable, moral, etc.

The plan was to do winter, spring, summer, and fall when I was writing these novellas but that didn’t work out that way. I wrote A Wynter’s Tale in two weeks in December of 2016 and then I self-published the novella in January 2017. I was so excited to release my first novella. This work also featured my own artwork for the book cover. The picture was taken right from my own backyard in the middle of winter! My mom even had the picture blown up and framed and she hangs it up every winter with her winter decor in our dining room. I am so proud of that photo and to me, it just signifies hope and a brighter future.

A Wynter’s Tale was first made into a paperback and Kindle ebook through Amazon but earlier this year I met the wonderful Chris Kenworthy who worked with me to create an audiobook for this little novella of mine and she absolutely rocked it! She gave me chills at how talented she is. She absolutely nailed my main characters, Lin and Wynn. She gave a voice to two of my most favorite characters to date. She made the funny scenes funnier and the more somber scenes just the right tone. I was so wildly proud of her and of this finished piece. The end result is astounding and I look forward to hearing more of her work in the future!

A Wynter’s Tale is a simple tale of a woman, Lin, who had a sad past even though she was brought up by a rich family. A particular trauma that happened to her when she was a young adult, shaped the woman she would later become. Having cold feet and desperate for adventure, she befriends Wynter, an equally disillusioned man who was also frustrated over the hand he was dealt in life. They serendipitously met and ended up going on a wild adventure. The genre for this novella was more on the romance side. The overall theme and life lesson I went for was subtle but basically was that bad things happen to everyone. Sometimes we understand the lesson we are meant to learn and sometimes we don’t get the answers in life that we are desperate to find. If you are unhappy with your life there is always a chance for change. The people around us are our greatest motivators. If we are surrounded by toxic people, that kind of awakens us and gives us the push we need to find better around us. That’s the main goal for this particular novella.

The sequel, John of Art, does feature the same characters along with new ones and takes place in the same fictitious Wister Bay, Maine. The genre and themes of John of Art are completely different. Although John of Art does have some romantic elements, I would not classify this as a romance. Contemporary fiction is more likely where I’d classify this novella with subtle hints of romance, mystery, drama, and that same modern parable vibe as the first one. There are hints of humor in this book like A Wynter’s Tale but this book is a little more serious. I wanted to test myself as a writer and each book is going delve into a completely different genre and different lesson. I want to expand my horizons and see which genre feels more comfortable for me to write. John of Art also takes place in the summer months.

One thing that I’m doing differently for John of Art is releasing a song single alongside the release of this book. I am particularly thrilled about this. Now that the first draft of my novella is written, I am going to work on my revisions and tweaking this week before passing it on for beta readers next week. Now that the novella is off my mind, for now, I am working on making the single happen. I am trying to get it done so that I can release them both together. I worked really hard on both and I hope that everyone who was a fan of A Wynter’s Tale will enjoy this book just as much if not more!

This book was met with a lot of resistance. A lot of people out there are filled with hatred, who don’t have and have never had my back. If it wasn’t for my amazing mother, sister, and the small handful of people out there who have shown me such kindness and unwavering support, I don’t know where I’d be. For those real-world villains out there, all I can say is thanks for serving as the accelerant to my fire that ever-rages with each negative action or word displayed. Thanks for making me angrier and more determined and more passionate and more persistent and more motivated and stronger than ever. With each work that I publish, I prove to myself that I am not the problem, those who remain stagnant in their own miserable lives who despise other people who work hard for a better existence, those are the people who really need to look into themselves, past the aesthetics of vanity and ask themselves what they are doing wrong in their lives. Instead of wasting time on fruitless efforts and dead-end streets, anyone with the drive and determination can make their own dreams a reality. And one of the greatest lessons I learned for myself, is that you are never too old and it is never too late to fulfill your destiny for greatness!

The next two books in the Seasons of Change line will be Shadows on Elm (Fall) and The Frenzy Initiative (Spring). I am not planning those any time soon. 2019 is pretty booked with my next projects but I do have the basic gist of each story outlined and those are TBA in 2020 some time. Thank you to everyone who continues visiting and reading my blogs. You all mean the world to me!

For this work and others please check out my Amazon Author Page here: amazon.com/author/psglopes

Also, please visit my Patreon page for those who may be interested in donating. Even a five dollar pledge would be incredibly helpful. All pledges receive some sort of incentive reward. This is all explained here: www.patreon.com/themoonlitgoddess

 

 

 

The Melancholy Dance That Became My Battle Cry: Dark Musings Poetry Anthology: Volume 3: The Wilted Perennials of Yesteryear

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.

Continuing this week’s theme of revisiting each of my written work, I decided to write about my last and latest poetry anthology: Dark Musings Poetry Anthology: Volume 3: The Wilted Perennials of Yesteryear. Today’s blog discusses what my inspirations were, where I came up with the concept for this piece, and why it defined this new and improved version of myself for 2019.

2019 didn’t start off at all how I had anticipated. 2018, 11:59 p.m. Ireland time, 6:59 p.m. EST, New Year’s Eve. This was the last minute that I had a fiance, I had the prospect of a life in Ireland, I had hope for a brighter future that wasn’t filled with misery, depression, hopelessness, anxiety, extreme and painful poverty, and sheer and utter disgust and hatred for myself as a failure of a human being. My ex filled ideas in my head that I could have a fulfilling life with him and I wanted so much to believe that. I so wanted to be that girl in those fairy tales that were whisked away by Prince Charming and finally had her happily ever after. I salivated at the thought with the prospect of change and hope that this man would be my one true love and I would live and die with him happily in our little love nest in the middle of nowhere in Ireland. That’s the life I had hoped to have and at the time I couldn’t imagine anything better.

I am so impressed by how the next turn of events occurred because they truly felt like a plot from a movie. Midnight struck, his time. I decided to go and look into his Facebook page and kept clicking on pictures, and other people’s FB pages on his feed and then BOOM! The reveal. And it wasn’t what you’d expect. Yes, a betrayal but not of the cheating variety. My heart sank. A huge part of me died that evening. I wanted to die that evening. Everything I ever hoped for died in just sixty seconds. Spending my entire life pretty much being morbidly obese, you pretty much have it drilled in your head that no man will ever love you and you’re going to die miserable and alone with eight million cats. This man changed that perception for me. Before I found out he had betrayed me, he made me feel loved and made me feel that I was worthy of someone else’s love. Weight didn’t matter to him. We are inseparable. Two peas in a pod. Twin Flames. Or so he had me believe.

I’m not going to delve into much deeper into the events that occurred because that’s not the point of this blog. The point is what happened afterward. After making a clean break, I decided that 2019 would be a time to find myself again. Recapture the momentum I had previously before I met this guy and learn to live life with just me again. Being with him for two years, I was nestled in this safety cocoon. The best way to describe the feeling is that feeling you get after reading a really good book series and when you’re finally done you happen to look up around you and realize you are not part of that book series. You have a life of your own and you must continue on living that same dreary life. Upon looking up and seeing the world for what it truly was, I was so depressed, so scared, so uncertain about everything. I felt like a complete loser, a failure, someone who couldn’t even be successful in a relationship. At that moment, I felt like I was indeed the biggest fuck up on the planet. I have literally ruined every single thing I’ve ever had. Being engaged granted me a sense of pride and I loved being this person’s fiancee. I loved the exotic belief that I was going to move overseas. (My box of crap is still there which I will never see again in this lifetime). But there was something about him that in the back of my mind I knew I couldn’t trust. I had intended to go to Ireland in September 2018, but I completely choked and ended up not going. First of all, having crippling anxiety I am not good even in a car by myself so I didn’t have much hope that I could get on a plane alone. My mom had asked my fiance to come here first so that I could fly with him and he declined. My mom told me right then and there that that was a surefire sign that he was not the right one for me. I also was reluctant to leave because my father was pretty unstable at the time and I just didn’t feel right leaving my mom and brother with him while my other siblings were working full-time. They relied on my assistance and I knew that they were not going to be okay without me.

There were so many things running in the back of my mind, but there was also a lack of trust of him from the beginning. He was erratic, flighty, flaky, switching from job to job. He was poor too and he just wasn’t solidifying on a path that would bring him prosperity. I ignored the warning signs despite my family’s pleas. I was deeply in love. Being in love was a potent drug. One that I had never really experienced before and one that I hope to never experience again. The whole ordeal was so troublesome and I’m only now feeling somewhat comfortable in my own skin again.

One of the constant themes of our relationship dealt with farming, flowers in general, geraniums, wildflowers, etc. So upon our breakup, I derived the concept of the Wilted Perennials of Yesteryear as the title of my latest poetry anthology. Perennials being flowers which grow back every year. We had talked about growing our own vegetables, flowers, etc. on his land. So that theme always intrigued, impressed, and inspired me. The idea of them being wilted to me, symbolized the loss of dreams, loss of hope, loss of a better existence. He promised me a pre-Raphaelite existence. A life where we stood hand in hand walking into the multi-colored hues of the fiery sunset experiencing all of life’s ups and downs together. But that was ripped away and is now but a distant memory that seems like several lifetimes ago but yet having it only happened last year, hence my use of the word yesteryear.

I started working on this anthology right away as the new year started. I had compiled all of my floral photography that I had taken over the years and then furiously wrote poem after poem after poem of heartache, loss, betrayal, disappointment, disgust, hatred, madness, sadness, desolation, bereavement, anguish and pain. I not only wrote about my ex but wrote about feminism, about the pain of my dad’s illness, frustrations of family life, and even included a short horror story which I called “The Clown-Covered Canvas” which was inspired by two paintings I found in my dad’s closet as I was reorganizing the attic to convert into my bedroom/office space.

All of this work together became what is now known as Dark Musings Poetry Anthology: Volume 3: The Wilted Perennials of Yesteryear. This piece was so much more than just poetry to paper. This piece helped me merge into the woman I am today because of the events that occurred at the beginning of the new year. It made me stronger, more confident in my work, and was really the first piece that made me feel like a true writer. Unfortunately, this piece is the most expensive piece I have up on Amazon and that’s because it’s a fully colorized photographic experience that accompanies each poem and story. Like Volume 2, it’s colorized and expensive because it costs a lot to print colorized photographs and digital art. This piece deserved to be in full color. To me, the colors added to the imagery of the poetry.

I incorporated a lot of different types of poetry in this piece too. Volume 2 featured my first attempt at an epic poem. For Volume 3; however, I wrote sonnets, limericks, haikus, elegies, couplets, free verse, acrostics, villanelles, sestinas, ekphrastic poetry, concrete poetry, epigrams, ballads, epitaphs, tankas, odes, and more! I really utilized my skills and challenged myself to branch out and try new writing techniques and I definitely feel this was my most mature piece to date. I’m highly proud of this book. What is most amazing was this was the first writing piece that was featured in a newspaper article since 2009. In 2009, I won the 3rd place prize for the Ella T. Grasso award sponsored by UNICO. The prize was for my short story “A Breath of Freedom” which is featured in my Dark Musings Poetry Anthology: Volume 2: The Storm Over Vermillion Fields. The newspaper article spawned much-needed confidence to seek out other methods of advertising my work. It also inspired me to reach out and interview a fellow creative for the first time on my own Podcast. So the broken version of me merged with this new, improved version of myself who believes in herself and the work that she presents to the world.

This book will always signify to me who I am now and how I should never sacrifice or compromise my values and standards for anyone and that being alone is better than being with someone who makes you feel alone. The Wilted Perennials of Yesteryear is a book for any woman who wishes to regain their sense of strength, to reclaim their power and aims to provide the confidence, the perseverance, and resilience to overcome any adversities and challenges life has thrown at us. This piece is my love letter to any woman who felt wronged or betrayed or blindsided. For every woman who felt slighted, embarrassed, shamed, gaslighted… As the great and powerful Chaka Khan sang, “I’m every woman.” Thank you for reading today’s blog!

For this and all of my other works please visit my Amazon Author Page here: amazon.com/author/psglopes.

VISIT THE MOONLIT GODDESS PATREON PAGE HERE

 

How I Got My Inspiration For My First Children’s Book, Little Stan’s Lucky Day!

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.

My family and I have been taking care of feral cats for almost two decades. What started off as feeding a stray cat here and there turned into a solid feral colony which we feed and take care of daily. It is costly and is a lot of responsibility. And it is more than just taking care of the cats. We have to fight with neighbors who do not agree with feeding strays because they make a mess and those individuals usually lack the proper education on how these animals live.

We have had so many stray cats touch our lives over the years. The gift of caring for another living being is just such a treasure. I never had children of my own, so I consider my cats to be my children.

In the early summer of 2017, three of our feral cats gave birth to a litter of fourteen kittens! We worked with this group in our town called TNR-Trap, Neuter, Return. This organization of volunteers will go around placing humane traps to capture the feral cats so that they can have them neutered or spayed, and returned to their colony. To date, all but two of our feral cats are neutered or spayed. They are the wildest of our colony and are virtually impossible to capture. Anyhow, of this litter, spawned my little Stan! I named him Stanlee after the great Stan Lee, the comic book genius. My family and I adopted Stanlee. I took care of him since he was a little baby. He was such a mushy, whiny little baby. He loved his cuddles and loved being warm and was such a sweet, inspiring little nugget. The head of the town’s TNR group captured the remaining kittens and gave them all proper homes.

This whole experience inspired me to create “The Will O’ The Wisp” children’s books series. Instead of looking at the same old boring children’s books you see in the children’s book store, I decided to create children’s books that educate and relay a positive message to children.

Little Stan’s Lucky Day teaches children about the difference between feral cats and domesticated cats and talks about all of my own cats and how Stanlee adapted to living in his new home. All of my children’s books are told in the form of a poem. That’s my writing style for the children’s books. The illustrations of this book were photographs of my domesticated cats that were stylized and filtered to look like oil paintings. Any proceeds for this book goes back to the care of the ferals and domesticated cats that my family and I care for as the care for taking care of the animals is very expensive.

Another message that I wish to convey is that it doesn’t matter if you take care of one cat or two hundred cats. Your contributions to these animal’s lives mean everything to these cats, who would’ve normally suffered without our intervention. All of my domesticated cats were once strays. I wish that I could take in every single abandoned or stray cat out there but I don’t have the space nor the resources for them. I feel good that I am able to do what I can for the ones we do care for. I feel that it is imperative to reach out and teach everyone, especially our youth, and teach them kindness, compassion, and mercy even for our furry friends!

Writing this children’s book was one of the greatest achievements of my life. I am so proud of this book because it was my first children’s book. I am also proud that it is meaningful. I see so many horrible children’s books out there. Books about crude things like farting and such and I think to myself, “How on earth did they get these books published?” With every work that I produce, I try not to be frivolous. I aim to write with a purpose and with meaning. I aim to help others and educate them on various topics that people may not previously be aware of and it is important to use my platform in a positive manner. These are some pictures of Little Stan’s Lucky Day book cover and of Stanlee when he was a baby and what he looks like now.

Stanlee is a very independent cat with a strong sense of self. He likes being pet on his own terms and even nibbles playfully on your hand when he wants more pets or when he wants to be left alone. He still loves and remembers his mama and will come to me when I call his name but out of all of my cats, he does not like to be coddled. He likes to explore and be his own cat and hang out with his other fur friends! I love my little Stanlee and will always cherish the time I had with him raising him as a baby. That time does not last when they are so small and are so mushy. Then they go off and become happy, flourishing adult cats! It is a great sight to behold and one that I am so proud to be a part of! Thanks so much for reading about my journey with feral cats and domesticated cats and the making of my first children’s book. This book, as well as all my other books, are available on Amazon as a paperback or ebook in Kindle format: amazon.com/author/psglopes.

VISIT THE MOONLIT GODDESS PATREON PAGE

In Recovery-My first Song Single-The Story Behind the Lyrics

CD DISC FACE IMAGE

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.

I have been dabbling with writing song lyrics since I was a little girl. I was absolutely obsessed with Celine Dion when I was about twelve years old. I played her cassette tapes so often that they’d get destroyed and my older brother would have to keep buying me new ones because I just couldn’t stop listening! I became obsessed with her voice, with the songs she sang, and everything about music in general. I started toying around with music lyrics and even dreamed of one day being able to write a song for someone as amazing as Celine Dion to sing it. As I got older, my tastes in music evolved, adapted, and grew. I still love and appreciate Celine Dion but my tastes have definitely darkened over the years.

My song, “In Recovery,” is definitely a dark song but it’s often misinterpreted. This is a love song about a love that started off positive and nurturing and just turned toxic. This was inspired by a real-life love I had once upon a time and that experience inspired not only the lyrics for this song but for a future book series that I’d eventually like to tackle someday soon.

The song is featured on SoundCloud but is also on Amazon as a compact disc to purchase. The lyrics and melody are my own. Because I didn’t have the means to sing the song myself in a studio and am not knowledgeable in the equipment or software I’d need to record the song myself, I hired outside musicians to record the track. The song is fully registered with ASCAP. I am a member of ASCAP publishing. This was one of the funnest projects I got to work on. Writing can be a very lonely profession. My favorite moments are when I get to network and work with others and collaborate.

My first exposure with collaboration was with this wonderful photographer I met believe it or not while doing my nails (Ironically, this was the last time I’d get my nails done because I just can’t afford such extravagances anymore). She heard my story about how I was a teacher and decided to leave the profession to pursue my writing full-time. She decided to take a professional photograph of me and use it for a series she was working on similar to Humans of NY. That was the first time I actually felt legitimized as a writer. I felt respected in my field and I felt that all of the hardships I had endured in my life all led me to this moment.

The collaborations continued after that with other amazingly talented people. The group who worked on making “In Recovery” happen were amazing. What they do is a great concept. Having a group of musicians and producers help you cut your single and get a suitable demo ready is genius, really! And what I liked the most is that I own the rights to the song 100%. That was very important to me. Having limited funding sucks because you’re at the mercy of others to help you get things done. I hate allowing myself to feel vulnerable and putting others in charge of something that I created but I was grateful that this turned out to be a positive experience.

Earlier this year, I was able to interview a former student of mine on my Podcast and that was also an awesome experience. She is an established comedienne and actress. She is so smart, so talented, and so carefree. She is fearless and I am so proud and so inspired by her positive outlook on life. I interviewed her shortly after I had broken up with my fiance and I feel that having the experience interviewing her gave me the confidence and courage to keep going in my pursuit of creativity.

Since then, I was featured in two newspaper articles celebrating the two books I have published this year so far: My second children’s book and my third poetry anthology.

The next thing I was able to work on this year was creating an audiobook for my first novella, A Wynter’s Tale. I am grateful to have met a wonderful voice-over artist who took on the challenge of reading my novella. She did such an amazing job bringing my characters to life.

I am truly blessed being able to have accomplished everything that I have so far in my creative work. I am working constantly on creating new work, working on my paid pursuits via freelancing and other leads I find. I am excited to be able to continue to pursue my passion in life and that is creating new writing, music, and art for everyone to enjoy.

I am about 75% done writing my second novella, John of Art. The story is really taking shape. I am pleased with where things are heading in the story. The story flows well and I feel that I have created strong characters that many will able to relate to when they read my work. I am searching for an editor to edit my novella once I have finished my first draft. I am also in the market for musicians to help me with a song single that I want to produce that will coincide with the release of the novella. That’s my motivation for starting Patreon. I realize that my ambitions are growing along with my passion and I need help! Up until now, I have been doing things myself in terms of the writing, formatting, book cover, art, illustrations, etc. My sister was my editor for everything up until this point but she wishes to retire LOL. I am grateful to my sister and my mother who have been so super supportive from the very beginning. I am very grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given. I love learning new things and I am constantly striving to do better than the previous work I’ve done.  This journey is definitely a complicated one and one that I am proud to be on. I don’t take anything for granted and recognize how fortunate I am to be given such a gift to be able to write full-time.

Thank you all for reading more about me and what I do. I have embedded my first song single “In Recovery” for you all to listen to and enjoy. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the song. Let me know what you think. Thanks, everyone! Have a great Saturday!

View PSG Lopes/The Moonlit Goddess’ Patreon Page Here

Updates on My Latest Writing Project!

blog post may 29th

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.

So a lot has been going on in my life and I know that I have not been blogging lately. I have been trying to stay focused on writing my latest project, my second novella, John of Art. At the beginning of May, I had a lot of difficulties regarding issues with my health (the hearing aid debacle), finding a new doctor, and starting my novella and losing fifty-five pages of progress. That was all very devastating to me. But as usual, being used to adversity and being used to being treated horribly by those of little significance to me, I decided to keep going full steam ahead. What started off as a negative at the beginning of the month, has turned into prosperity towards the end of this month.

I am a full believer that life provides a yin and yang experience. For every negative, there’s a positive just around the corner. So instead of dwelling on everything that is going wrong, I am choosing to focus on everything that is going right.

As of today, I can proudly say, after thirty-eight years of struggle, I, PSG Lopes, also known as The Moonlit Goddess, FINALLY has procured my hearing aids! For every villain in the world, there are still heroes out there. A wonderful woman fought very hard for me to get my hearing aids. I am forever in her debt. What she did for me went above and beyond anyone has ever gone for me. She is a virtual stranger but she was so determined after hearing my struggles and what I went through. She worked hard to make sure that I have my hearing aids. I feel blessed. I feel an unfamiliar feeling. I am so used to being hurt, disappointed, abused, mistreated, that when people are actually good to me I am not sure how to feel. It’s quite unique, this feeling.

To have someone who barely knew me work so hard to help me, it is just such a gift. I am so beyond grateful that good people still exist on this planet. A million thanks to those who still possess kindness, compassion, empathy, love, patience, understanding, and mercy. She told me something interesting that I hadn’t thought of. She told me that those girls who gave me grief at my old doctor’s office were so concerned by me because of my beauty and because I am not miserable. They are all young, on the cusp of adulthood, late teens, working straight out of high school. The one who gave me trouble was an obese teenager who was already married and got knocked up during high school. She said she was probably threatened by me. The woman who helped me said that I have this light about me.

I feel that people have always been threatened by me inexplicably. My response to this is simple. I am confident because I know what it’s like to be with nothing. I smile because I have known my share of sorrow. I am fierce because I know what it means to feel weak and powerless. I recognize and understand that these girls have nothing but their small world in that office. They’ve never experienced anything greater than themselves and lack the emotional intelligence to properly understand and comprehend what someone like myself has gone through. My life experiences are a burden to me but they are mine and not easily understood by those without insight. Maybe one day they’ll get it. Maybe one day they’ll know. But not today. And that really isn’t my problem. My problem is making sure that I’m healthy and well taken care of and I should never feel guilty for wanting to better myself. So instead of harboring anger, I want to extend a thank you because without that incident I wouldn’t have pushed harder for myself to be the best possible version of myself that I can create for myself.

As for the fifty-five pages that I lost of my manuscript, I not only got those fifty-five pages back, but I am now one hundred and two pages richer in my manuscript. I am right on schedule for a July/August release of my latest novella, John of Art. I am in the market for an editor and someone to help me cut a song single for my book as well. The lyrics and melody are all set. I just need to record it professionally and get it ready for a co-release with my book in a few weeks. So if anyone knows of anyone who can help, I’d be greatly appreciative. Thanks for all your support and your constant revisiting of my blog.

Thank you all for your continued interest in my crazy world! Love to all and hope you are all happy and healthy!

VISIT THE MOONLIT GODDESS PATREON PAGE

In Between Blessings: My Latest Podcast This Week, The Latest Article Featuring My Children’s Book: My Papa and Me: A Children’s Book About Our Journey With Dementia, and More!

blog post friday may 10th 2019

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019. ARTICLE PHOTO COURTESY OF CARMO PEREIRA VIA LUSO-AMERICANO, May 10th, 2019.

Hello, everyone! There is so much to say today! First of all, I have released a new podcast this week with a whole range of topics including the latest article I was featured in from the Portuguese newspaper Luso-Americano written by the AMAZING Carmo Pereira (Thanks once again!). This article discusses my latest publication, my children’s book, My Papa and Me: A Children’s Book About Our Journey With Dementia. Also in this week’s podcast, I discuss all of my misfortunes in 2019, how I am learning to overcome them all and fight back and defend myself, the power of saying no when you’re not comfortable in a situation, and I even tackle the abortion debate that is heating up in our country as of late, plus so much more!

You can listen to my latest podcast here: PSG Lopes/ The Moonlit Goddess Podcast

VISIT THE MOONLIT GODDESS PATREON PAGE

The Balloon Launch

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 2019.

One of my most vivid memories as a child which also happens to be one of the most environmentally reckless decisions my elementary school had ever made was the balloon launch my school did on Halloween when I was in Kindergarten. I remember those cheesy trash bag cheapy Halloween costumes we used to buy in the 80s. I was Mickey Mouse that year. I remember entering Kindergarten was such a hard time for me because I was so horribly shy and anxious and I was always nauseous and gagging from my anxiety and I just hated being in school that first year. For some reason, this event was what helped solidify my position in school and made things seem not as dire as they had been at the beginning of the school year.

I grew up in Yonkers, New York. I went to a Catholic school for nine years (K-8th). The walk from my school to the nearest park was short so our entire school walked over to the local park with a balloon in hand. The balloon had a note attached. The note contained our names and the address of the school with a letter stated if found send us a letter. So when they blew the whistle it was our cue to release the balloon and watch the multitude of colored, helium-filled plastic ascend into the air. Their final destination was unknown. Whether they got wrapped around trees, or eventually descended into ponds, and lakes, damaging living beings’ eco-systems, or less likely landing by people, one would never know.

I remember how naïve and foolish I was then, and even now. I was very Catholic and I believed in all the teachings we were taught in school. I remember foolhardily wishing that my letter would be found and that I’d be the one who would get the letter sent to my school. I remember the ridiculous daydreams I’d have about it in class. Having my name called from the P.A. system. Me proudly walking down to the office to claim my letter of victory. “Ha, Ha! Suckers! My letter was found and yours wasn’t!”

But that victorious day never came. There were only two students in the whole school who got letters sent to them and of course, mine wasn’t one of them. Of course, it had to be someone from my class who was chosen and then one other from another grade that was chosen as well.

That Halloween, in general, was ill-fated. My Mickey Mouse costume did not make it the entire day. My older brother, who was a lot older than I was, walked me around our apartment complex and took me trick or treating and we didn’t make it past two apartments because as he was holding my hand in such a hurry because he was so mad to be trick or treating with his baby sister, I tripped and fell down the stairs ripping my costume straight down the middle. Hysterically crying, my brother now mortified, dropped me off to my mother and then he went off with his friends.

This was my first real experience with being let down by holidays. Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I reminisced on all the past Easters my family and I had celebrated together and I realized how lackluster all holidays have become as an adult. You romanticize how things should really be and how they used to be. The new spring dresses, the pastel colors, the dyed eggs, the daffodils and tulips, the cherry blossoms, the birds chirping, the bees buzzing, the Easter bunny, the endless chocolate, the money gifts from relatives, the train of people coming in and out of your house, the long-ass masses we used to endure when we were practicing Catholics. Now, even though all those things still exist around us, they just don’t bear any meaning. That could also be the depression talking, but I just find it not as exciting and just feels like just another day to me. What I’m left with is the memories of all the past holidays. Every Easter, Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day, and so on where all of my family happened to be young and healthy and had the illusion of happiness and gratitude.

That Kindergarten Halloween was memorable to me not because I unceremoniously tumbled down hard clay tiled stairs successfully tearing off my entire costume Hulk-style. That Halloween was memorable because of that balloon launch. The explosion of colors, the anticipation, and excitement being a part of something greater than myself. That was the first time I felt like I was a part of the community around me. I felt included. I felt like I belonged. Now, as a jaded adult, I’m left to my own devices more than not. People only come around when they need me for something not because they actually want my company or attention. I’ve seen and done it all and I just don’t feel that magic anymore. No Technicolor, no enchantment, no hopes and dreams of a brighter future. This is it. All I have left are the memories of the colors, excitement, and that feeling in my stomach of anticipation and excitement. All I have to show for my Easter is a hollowed out feeling sitting in this chair in my “Stay Golden” Golden Girls t-shirt wondering if this is all I have left.

wynters-tale-outside-cover

On a brighter note, I want to thank everyone who has purchased a copy of my new audiobook for my novella, A Wynter’s Tale, so far. Please don’t forget to leave a review after you have listened to my book. I am so grateful to each and every one of you. Thanks for always coming back to keep reading my blogs, buying my work, listening to my podcasts and saying hi to me on social media. I haven’t been posting as often as I know I should. I have been trying to be present for my father. I don’t know how much time he has left, so the moments I have with him where he is having good days means that much more to me. I am happy to report that I am currently working on my next project. This work is a little more involved and I am hoping for a July 2019 release. So I am always plugging away at some new project. For those of you who are interested, you may purchase my audiobook in the orange link below (Just click on the orange link of your country of origin). Thank you all again! I hope you and your family had a wonderful Easter yesterday, to those who celebrated. Whatever you happen to celebrate, as always, I wish you all much happiness and good health!

The audiobook for A Wynter’s Tale (Written by PSG Lopes, Narrated by Chris Kenworthy): Available through Amazon, Audible, and iTunes!

US: A Wynter’s Tale Audiobook

UK: A Wynter’s Tale Audiobook

FR: A Wynter’s Tale Audiobook

DE: A Wynter’s Tale Audiobook

I Fear Success More Than I Fear Failure

blog pic january 17th 2019.png

ALL WRITTEN AND ARTWORK ARE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF PSG LOPES. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2019.

Before I get into today’s rant, I’d like to take a moment to show off my amazing new business cards featuring my new logo and updated contact information. I also received postcards and stickers as well with the new logo to hand out to my readers when my new work comes out soon! A very special thanks to my sister for always taking care of her sissy! Thanks for always believing in me and pushing me to keep going especially on the days when I feel I have nothing left to give.

Now onto today’s topic. Success. When I first decided to leave teaching altogether in 2016 and start The Moonlit Goddess, I did some research and decided to focus on writing erotica full-time. There were so many things I was unhappy about while writing erotica but had read several articles of people becoming rich quick with writing erotica for Amazon through their self-publishing platform. Not really concerned about quality, I was writing four erotica short stories a month every month for four months. I charged a mere 99 cents a story and kept my identity under wraps and wasn’t really sure how to go about marketing my work. I knew that I still wanted to write poetry, and I dabbled in photography and digital art as well, so I knew that was something I was interested in also pursuing.

Several things went wrong during my earlier pursuits in writing.  I hated writing pieces in shame. I hated the way that people were speaking to me and treated me when I wrote erotica. I just ultimately felt sick to my stomach about it and realized that this was not my true path as a writer. I felt that my writing deserved an appropriate platform to address all of my hopes and fears. I wanted to triumph in my successes and lament in my failures with all of you without hiding behind this persona having to hide in darkness in the shame of my writing. I also had no one to properly edit my erotica because it’s not really something many wanted to look at let alone edit so I’d publish the work with a lot of typographical errors. A real amateur mistake. This whole fiasco lasted four months. I was simultaneously releasing poetry samples and my erotica from September 2016 to December 2016.

My new year’s resolution in January 2017 was to completely revamp my writing line in order to create pieces for everyone to enjoy. I was able to step out of the shadows and fully identify myself and my brand and, in my opinion, created something that I am truly proud of and can continue working on and improve upon as time passed. In 2017, I self-published two poetry anthologies, one novella, and a children’s book, along with my song single. 2017 was a great year for me and I had hoped that 2018 would bring similar prosperity. That would not be the case.

Even though 2017 was a successful year in terms of my writing, I was going through a lot of major changes personally. I had new people in my life whom I was using as a safety net while I was dealing with a lot of horrible trauma at home. This trauma involved my dad who is currently suffering from advanced dementia. I found a romantic escape and used that as a crutch as well as food. I gained a lot of weight in 2018 and was not concerned with anything other than moving overseas and beginning a new life. Throughout all of this, I hadn’t realized how I was cheating myself and not producing any writing at all. 2018 was a horrible dry spell for creativity and I’m so ashamed of myself for completely letting my dream slide through my very capable fingertips. During that whole romantic bubble, never did I once believe that while I was at home depressed, anxious, and dealing with the daily care of my father, I was simply letting precious time pass me by.

My world came crashing down in the new year of 2019. I woke up from the bewitching spell I was under and now a fire has been properly lit under my ass and I am no-nonsense back into writing 100%. I’ve been writing frantically every day since the new year and I’ve no intention of stopping. I recognize that I was regressing a lot and waxing nostalgic over the past instead of focusing on my bright writing future. I always ever knew failure and was terrified of what would happen if I actually felt a bit of success. That’s why I hid behind the erotica, that’s why I always self-sabotaged dieting and exercise, and I always forged unhealthy relationships that I recognize now are no good for me. I am always hiding. I am always playing it safe. I don’t allow myself the possibility of actually feeling what it’s like to maybe be a success for once instead of always succumbing to that self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. Failure is expected of me. I have never known true success. My family had never witnessed success for myself. They always expected me to fail. They know the flaky, unreliable, flighty version of me. They know that the second things are going well for me, I give up and run the other way. And that’s exactly what I did in 2018. I cheated myself repeatedly and set myself up for failure. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know what I was thinking. I do recognize it now and am going to spend 2019 rectifying my past mistakes.

Maybe this path was meant to happen so that it would shake me up a bit and realize what a mistake I made and fight harder for the things that I want in life. I do want to succeed as a writer. I do want to get out of this financial rut that I’m perpetually in and I want to know what it’s like to treat my family for a meal without sweating about where I’m going to find the funds to replace the money I spent. I want to know what financial freedom is like and I want to be able to take care of myself first and foremost and have the capabilities of taking care of my family like they took care of me all of these years. I feel that we’ve all been touched greatly by misfortune over the years. It is well past time that my family and I felt what it was like to feel the sunshine of success touch our faces as we march towards a greater existence.

I know 2019 will be my year. And as of January 17th, 2019, I am fulfilling my end of the bargain.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary The Moonlit Goddess! What’s Next on the Writing Agenda!

 

Happy 1 year anniversary to The Moonlit Goddess Writing Line! When I decided to quit teaching after 15 years, I was so nervous and scared and lost. I’d done it all. I worked on my bachelors, my masters and my phd in business administration. I traveled the east coast and west coast throughout my schooling. I had met so many inspiring people. Although I had grown and expanded everything around me in my home town seemed to stay the same. My world grew bigger and a lot of people had a difficult time understanding me. If you learned what I learned, saw with these eyes what I have seen. If you heard stories from people all over our great country. If you listened thoughtfully to their struggles and how they persevered in the end. It inspired me to move on from somewhere I could not grow and built something from the ground up. Now my writing line is thriving and I met a wonderful person along my journey. I am scrounging and saving every penny to help build a better existence for myself and I will continue to produce meaningful work along the way. Thanks for being here and sharing in this wonderful, wild, and exhilarating journey with me. The 3 P’s that keep me going: Patience, Persistence, and Perseverance! 

Now, what’s next on my writing agenda! I signed myself up for the NaNoWriMo Challenge for the month of November. I’ve decided to be a little ambitious and a little crazy. I am not sure that I can do, but I am going to try. For the month of October, I’m going to try to write John of Art. For November, I’m going to try to write Shadows on Elm. I will update everyone on my progress. So far, I have written two chapters of John of Art, so I am on the right path! Wish me luck!

In the meantime, I just published my first children’s book: The Moonlit Goddess Presents: The Will O’ The Wisp Tales: Little Stan’s Lucky Day! This is available through Amazon Kindle and paperback formats on Amazon on the links below! Please remember to leave me feedback! Thanks so much!

Little Stan’s Lucky Day $2.99 Amazon Kindle Edition

Little Stan’s Lucky Day $15.00 Amazon Paperback

My children’s book was chosen to be featured and read aloud during Ireland’s Children’s Book Festival throughout the month of October! I am very proud of this distinguished honor. Special thanks to my literary agent and my love bug, Robert Peacock for making this happen!

Also, Little Stan’s Lucky Day has been entered in the Pen to Publish 2017 Contest through Amazon that would award me a publishing contract and a mentor-ship with prestigious members of the writing profession. So wish me luck! Thanks for everything. Thanks to my family and friends for your nurturing and support of my passionate venture! I can’t wait to update you all on news of future events!